Amethyst
The
Smoky Blues Book 9
by
Emily Mims
Genre:
Contemporary Romance
CAN’T
GET HER…
Deke
Gregory has a type – petite, feminine, pliable. His ex-wife was his
ideal, but she wasn’t his, obviously. Faced with the realities of
joint custody and a family “village” raising his son, Deke sets
out to find a woman who ticks all his boxes and thinks he walks on
water. Enter Doctor Taylor De Witt: tall, strong, willful,
opinionated, and too busy to be bothered with soothing his rough
edges. Imagine his surprise when he falls for her – hard.
OUT
OF HIS HEART
Taylor
De Witt knew she would be a heart surgeon since college. Now a single
mother with a schedule that requires roller blades, she has little
time for her family, never mind a social life. When she meets Deke
Gregory she thinks he’s a Neanderthal – yummy, but from a
different era. Little does she know what their mutual attraction will
bring, including examining her life to include an everlasting love.
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Taylor parked in front of Deke’s house and rubbed her sweaty palms on her skirt. It had been three days since he’d returned from DC and she’d not heard a word No phone calls, no texts, no nothing. He was angry. Not that she could blame him. But she’d had no choice. She’d had a patient who needed her. She’d had a life to save.
The porch light was off, but light filtered through the drawn drapes and she could hear the muted sound of a television. The air was icy and a light layer of snow dusted the ground, but the air was still and the moon was trying to peek out from between the clouds. She rang the bell and was about to ring it a second time when the porch light came on and a minute later the front door opened. Deke stood in the door, barefoot and dressed in sweatpants and a loose T-shirt. He looked through her. “What can I do for you?” he asked as if she were a stranger.
“You can start by letting me in out of the cold,” she said quietly. “We need to talk.”
Deke raised his eyebrow. “Seems to me you said all you needed to say in the text you sent me Tuesday afternoon.”
Taylor’s temper flared, but she tamped it down. “Please, Deke. I want to explain.” “Whatever.” He let her in and shut the door behind her.
She followed him into the living room. He turned off a basketball game and sat down in his recliner, leaving her the ugly sofa. She clenched her hands in front of her as she searched for the words to make him understand. “I’m sorry I missed the ceremony. Was it nice?”
Deke looked at her disbelievingly. “That’s all you have to say? You’re sorry and was it nice? You miss one of the most important things that’s ever happened to me and you want to know if it was nice?”
“What do you want me to say? I missed the ceremony. It nearly killed me that afternoon, knowing I wasn’t going to get to go and that you were going to be angry.”
“Angry doesn’t cover it, Taylor. I invited you to something that meant the world to me and you didn’t give a big enough damn to make sure you could come.”
“I sure as hell did give a damn. I paid for a plane ticket and spent almost a thousand dollars on an outfit.”
“But the bottom line is that you didn’t show up.”
“What could I do? Dr. Sanchez went AWOL and Dr. Sam was in the hospital and the ER called and I had to install an LVAD.”
“You want to know the answer to that?” Deke stood up and faced her. “To start with, you could have had someone besides your flaky newbie and a sick retiree covering for you. Maybe you could have gotten down off your high horse and called one of those inferior cardiologists who might have actually been able to cover for you. Or maybe, just maybe you could have told the ER you were off-call and to call in someone else. But you didn’t do any of that. No, you when you got the phone call you went sailing in and decided that you and only you could save the patient, and to hell with the commitment you’d made to me. How’m I doing?”
Taylor reared back like she’d been slapped. “That’s a shitty thing to say. I had no idea Dr. Sanchez would pull a stunt like that or that Dr. Sam was sick. And I’m sorry I missed the ceremony. But I was not going to risk the life of a seriously ill patient by trusting her to somebody I don’t have total faith in. I don’t care what high horse I’m riding. Jesus, Deke. A woman’s life was at stake.” She twisted her hands together. “A forty-two-year-old single mother with three teenagers to raise. I couldn’t turn her over to the first yahoo who came through the door. Do you have any idea how shitty I felt writing you that text? Do you have any idea how badly I did want to come?”
“Forgive me, but I don’t care who it was and I don’t care how bad it made you feel. Tuesday wasn’t an isolated incident. There’s always somebody’s life at stake. Always somebody who’s going to be more important than me, Charlie, your mother, and sister, who’s getting married,” he roared.
“Fuck you, Deke. My patients have to come first. Every damned time. How would you have felt if Brian had been the one in trouble? Would you have been okay with me turning his care over to someone less qualified so I could catch a plane?”
Deke’s face was mottled with anger. “I don’t know what to say to that. But I know I’ve had enough. I don’t matter to you and I’m tired of it.”
“That’s not true. You know you matter.”
“I know no such thing. You know what Brian said when he heard you weren’t coming? He wasn’t surprised because you do it to Charlie all the time.” Taylor flinched but he went on. “I guess your mother and sister choose to put up with it and poor Charlie has no choice. But I do have a choice and I’m making it. It’s not going to work between us and I’m tired of trying.”
Taylor’s vision was getting blurry. “I’m sorry.” She willed her tears not to fall. “I thought maybe I’d found a man who wasn’t going to insist on coming first all the time.”
“You know, I wouldn’t have minded not coming first all of the time. But I wanted to come first some of the time. You’re not willing to offer even that, and it’s a shame. I thought we could have had something really special.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that I can’t.”
Deke’s lips tightened. “If you really, really wanted to, you would have found a way.”
“I did the damn best I could.”
“No. Actually, you didn’t.”
Taylor felt the tears overflow and run down her cheeks. “I wish you could walk in my shoes for a day or two. See what I see and feel what I feel. You might not be so quick to judge.”
“I’m not judging. I’m stating the truth.”
Taylor swiped at the wet on her face. “I see a different truth.” She stood up. “I hope you won’t use this as an excuse to discourage Brian’s friendship with Charlie. The boys have been good for one another.”
Deke’s lips firmed into a grim line. “I’d never do that.”
“All right, then.” She stood, gathered her handbag and managed to walk out the door without breaking into sobs.
Her tears chilled in the icy wind as she got in the car. He’d refused to understand. He hadn’t even tried. Her dedication to her patients looked like indifference to everyone else in her life. Her absences to care for them looked like neglect. He refused to see how torn she’d been, how badly she’d wanted to go, how disappointed she’d been to have to stay behind.
He could see only the bottom line.
She hadn’t gone.
She rammed the car into gear and backed out of the driveway. She’d tried. She’d done her best and it hadn’t been good enough. Damn, damn, dammit. He’d been right about one thing. They could have had something special.
He’d been bright and funny and wonderful in her bed and out of it. She’d loved every minute she’d spent with him. She loved his laugh, his dry humor, his sharply honed intelligence and the way he made her come apart when she was in his arms. She loved everything about him.
She loved him.
Taylor made it to her driveway before breaking down entirely, tears flooding her eyes as she sobbed for long minutes. She’d fallen in love with him. But she would never be the woman he needed or wanted and still be the doctor her patients needed her to be. It hurt like a son of a bitch to admit, but Deke would be better off going back to the sweet, pretty women he’d favored before she’d come into his life. Sooner or later he’d fall in love with one of them and spend the rest of his life with her.
And she would be better off with no man in her life.
No man would ever be willing to take second place to her patients.
Author
of eighteen romance novels under the pseudonym 'Emily Elliott', Emily
Mims combined her writing career with a career in public education
until leaving the classroom to write full time. 'Solomon's Choice' is
her first romantic suspense and the first novel she has published
under her own name. The mother of two sons, she and her husband
Charles split their time between Central Texas and eastern Tennessee.
For relaxation she plays the piano, organ, dulcimer, and ukulele. She
says, "I love to write romances because I believe in them.
Romance happened to me and it can happen to any woman-if she'll just
let it."
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